Selfrealization and enlightenment is love-bliss

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Mother's grace



The Self realizes itself; it is not that you somehow grow into Self-realization. Please understand this sentence; meditate on it. Ignorance is the false belief that you are the body and/or the mind. Strictly speaking you do not get rid of ignorance, you step into clear understanding. It is not that clear understanding grows; it is already perfect within you as the Self. A clear mind can be developed, but being mind it is just as ignorant as an unclear mind. It may, however, be easier to step into clear understanding with a clear mind than with a cloudy mind, but not necessarily so. An unclear mind may be so massive that it is plain obvious what pure being is compared with it. On the other hand a clear mind may easily believe itself to be almost enlightened, which it can never be.

Mother, or Divine Mother, is the grace of the Self that seemingly separates itself from the Self as a force acting for your liberation. It is, however, never separate from the Self, as liberation is the Self that realizes itself. Such is grace that the bliss of the Self assumes a form understandable from the ignorant perspective, in order to establish Self-realization. Mother resides within you as kundalini. Surrender to Mother as kundalini; surrender to Mother as the bliss of the Self; there is no difference. Even if you know nothing of kundalini, if you are overwhelmed by major bliss in meditation, it is kundalini answering your prayer by infusing your brain with Shakti. This is the case even with minor bliss, though this may be an infusion with prana rather than Shakti. Prana is Shakti within the relative, assuming the role as vital force, while Shakti is the dynamic aspect of pure being.

Love can not hide from this. If a person has realized the Self, but is not in great love, then the Self-realization is internal only, in the form of void, and thus of the lowest kind. It is better than nothing, but naught but the beginning of the unfoldment of the Self. The medium kind of Self-realization has also realized the Self internally, but in addition sees Mother in everything and lives in love. The highest kind of Self-realization no longer distinguishes between Mother and Self; this is unity consciousness and is very difficult to reach. In this state everything is seen as the Self and one is One with Mother, not as a simple unity of two, but as in no distinction what so ever.

Death no longer frightens a Self-realized person, as he knows his immortality.

Discussions of matters as outlined above are important, but if they are not followed by proper effort, they are fruitless. Logic can be an aid as well as a hindrance. Proper effort is more important than logic. Logic is of three kinds: It can point beyond itself by falling into the Self; it can confirm itself by falling into the mind; it can play with itself by falling back into similar lines of thought. In the completely ignorant mind, the third, latter, form of logic is praised as the highest. The medium kind of logic is found in immature seekers, who have not yet experienced the Self. The first kind of logic is found in seekers who know the Self well or who have realized the Self and wish to teach. Logic that points beyond itself is of no use, however, if it does not lead to proper effort.

Proper effort means proper practice. Proper practice is always simple as it should be an invitation to the Self to realize itself, and not be an exercise of the mind or body. Proper practice is always to surrender to Mother. Mother is the Self of all and She can be reached effortlessly or with effort. Effortless practice is to merge with bliss that wells up within. Effortful practice is to awaken and raise kundalini for the sake of getting bliss to well up within. No other effort counts as proper practice.

Faith is important. Without any realization, faith in teachings along the line of the above is all-important. Proper practice in such a case relies on faith. It takes faith to let go of one’s identity and dive into the Self. Courage is required. Those without courage to test the above teachings through proper effort are difficult to awake. They can only be awakened through Mother’s grace which comes in the form of Shaktipat.

Shaktipat is one with Mother’s grace; not like two fused together, but as in one and the same. Anyone who gives shaktipat is an instrument of Mother’s grace. Anyone who receives shaktipat is offered Mother’s grace. However, not everyone who receives shaktipat receives Mother’s grace; grace may so to speak not be able to penetrate the layers of identification on the part of the recipient. The recipient should have deep rooted faith in shaktipat for Mother’s grace to grab hold of the recipient; or the recipient should have an intuitive understanding of all the above; or the recipient should know what proper effort is and practice it; or the recipient should simply have given up and be in a state of surrender. Surrender requires faith. Giving up without faith is hopelessness, not proper surrender.

Shaktipat comes in various intensities. Lowest form is a spontaneous happening, like a spark that suddenly flies from one to another without one’s effort or will. Medium shaktipat is what I have described above; it happens with proper effort on the part of the giver. Perfect shaktipat knows no boundaries and can awaken even the hopeless. Perfect shaktipat is extremely rare. Medium shaktipat is rare. Lowest form of shaktipat may happen at odd moments and spontaneously for those who have faith and have temporarily surrendered to Mother’s grace.

When you no longer temporarily surrender to Mother, but you have been grabbed by Mother, you may begin to develop proper practice for willed shaktipat to take place. This proper practice can not be taught by other than Mother herself; but in essence, you see the recipient as Mother and ask Mother’s grace to awaken in the recipient. To see the other as Mother, you have to be one with Mother, at least temporarily. This means the medium kind of shaktipat only happens for those who are of medium Self-realization and see Mother in everything, either permanently or fairly often and at will. Perfect shaktipat demands unity consciousness. Random, lowest, kind of shaktipat may happen for anyone with a fully awakened kundalini even though he or she is not Self-realized yet. Lowest kind of shaktipat may be practiced and to some degree mastered, but that does not turn it into the medium kind of shaktipat, only internal realization of Mother/Self can do that.

How do you know you are temporarily united with Mother? You sense, know, feel your body and mind to be manifestations of pure bliss. You are one with this bliss and perceive the body and mind as external from you.

In the absence of bliss, zeal is what counts. The seeker profits according the zeal he puts into proper effort. In the presence of bliss, surrender is what counts. This means that when a seeker who does not habitually experience bliss, suddenly experiences bliss, he should immediately stop what he is doing and surrender to the bliss. Bliss in meditation is not a result of the practice, but is a result of Mother’s grace, so give up the practice and surrender.

Bliss comes when kundalini flows into the brain. Linguistically, “kundalini” means “the coiled one” and in general kundalini is indeed “coiled”. This can be understood both literally, as coiled up in the root chakra (slightly above the perineum), as well as metaphorically, as in an awkward position incapable of rising. Kundalini needs to be awakened in order for it to straighten out and enter the spine. When asleep, kundalini only maintains the bodily functions, the mind and the feelings and what else comes with being human. In other words, while asleep, kundalini maintains one’s state of ignorance.

It is as if, when incarnating, kundalini interacts with the foetus and descends into the budding central nervous system while the foetus develops. First kundalini develops the crown chakra and all that is associated with that, then the so called third eye, etc. all the way down until it reaches the lowest chakra, where it falls asleep. This structures one’s personality in conjunction with the body, and thus makes up one’s structure of ignorance. When kundalini awakens, the reverse process takes place and kundalini begins to undo one’s ignorance. Kundalini undoes the knots in one’s system and removes the layers of dirt, that keep one’s awareness in ignorance. Until finally kundalini reaches the brain and gives bliss. First kundalini gets dissolved into the central nervous system and then finally merges with pure being in the brain. This reverse process is Mother’s grace. This may sound mysterious in the light of this more technical description of kundalini as asleep and awakened, but one will realise for one self that Mother’s grace is the only way to handle the immense bliss and love that fills one’s heart and soul.

Kundalini is known by different names according to what state it is in. The pure, liberated kundalini, one with pure being, is called para-kundalini. When para-kundalini manifests in the individual, it is called shakti-kundalini, or kundalini-shakti, or just kundalini for short. Kundalini-shakti manifests prana-kundalini and chit-kundalini. Prana-kundalini (or prana for short) makes up all the vitalforces and the breath, while chit-kundalini makes up the consciousness of the individual. When united with para-kundalini, one’s awareness has merged into the unity of pure being and Shakti, and this state is knows as nirvikalpa samadhi. Any form of kundalini is a valid way to reach para-kundalini, or samadhi. This means that valid efforts consist of employing kundalini-shakti in order to reach para-kundalini, and that kundalini-shakti can be stimulated by chit-kundalini or prana-kundalini for one’s spiritual advancement. Employing chit-kundalini is known as meditation and employing prana-kundalini is known as pranayama. In all cases one must leave the form of kundalini one begins with and move on to para-kundalini, which is supreme bliss. In other words, no matter what one’s method or practice may be, one must give it up at the right moment and surrender to bliss. This brings us back to Mother’s grace.

Mothers grace is what takes you from method to bliss. You can not take this step by yourself, since you let go of doing. You can not do anything to merge with bliss. Bliss pulls you into itself and this pull is Mothers grace. All you have to do is let go and surrender to the sense of bliss and the sense of Shakti.

You do not have to win Mothers grace, it is there in abundance, waiting. You have to open yourself to it. Mothers grace would not be perfect, if it had not already placed within you the key to surrendering to her grace. This key is kundalini. However, when kundalini is asleep, the key is hidden, so to speak. Oh, seeker! Awaken kundalini! Oh, Mother! Awaken kundalini in everyone!

Pray, seeker, for your kundalini to awaken. Pray to Mother to grant you that boon; and once She grants it, everything will progress by itself from then on. Internally it will progress smoothly, but from the point of view of the mind and the body, it may or may not be a smooth ride. Kriyas may manifest; they usually do. Kriyas can be spontaneous movements of the arms or other parts of the body. Or it may be spontaneous utterings of sounds or even screaming. Or it may be a gentle shivering of the spine as Shakti moves up to your brain. Kriyas are innumerable. They are signs of internal purification, but don’t think that if there are no apparent kriyas, there is no purification. Trust Shakti, surrender to Shakti and surrender to bliss. Once kundalini has awakened, that is all you have to do.

If you want to start with chit-kundalini, do meditation. Remember the goal of meditation is to awaken kundalini. Why? Because kundalini is the grace of Mother, that will pull you into the Self. You can do meditation and control your thoughts to perfection, but that will in itself only lead to a blank mind. You have to transcend the notions of “mine” and “my …”. You may reach a perfectly blank mind, but as long as you think of it as “my mind”, it will do no good. You may then transcend the notion of “my …” and be absorbed in the void of the blank mind -- some believe that is enlightenment; however, it is not, no matter how permanent and stable the void is. If kundalini-shakti is not awakened, void will eventually go away and become noisy again. If not in this life, then in the next as karma manifests a new mind for you to grapple with.

The notion of “my …” needs to be analyzed at some point by every seeker. It is obvious that what you think of as “my spouse” is really a relationship and not an ownership. But it is more tricky when it comes to your thoughts. Realize that your thoughts are not yours! Thoughts happen. Just like the beating heart that does what is has to do to take care of the body, the mind does what is has to do to take care of the body: it thinks. There is nothing wrong with thoughts, just don’t claim ownership of them. Analyze everything in this way and what remains is the Self. However, this kind of analysis is very difficult to take to the end, and self-enquiry is a very cumbersome way. Mothers grace is nicer, more blissful, sweeter and faster.

You may arrest your thoughts completely and think this is the goal. You may enter void-consciousness and think that is the goal. However, something has to happen in the void to take you into the supreme. A blazing light with no circumference must temporarily fill the void. This is Mother's grace. Once you have had this inner blazing light initiation by Mothers grace, you will have a somewhat active kundalini and be on the way to Self-realization; at least as a budding start.

When meditating, control your mind a little. Do not fight with it. First note you are extroverted, then become introverted, then control the mind a little and do your meditation. When meditating, you may silently repeat the mantra “klimm”. Do not make the repetition into the practice, because that will lead nowhere. Use every repetition of the mantra as a chance to see the source of the mantra, which is the Self. If you just sit “klimm, klimm, klimm …” nothing will happen. Every time you think the mantra, think it gently and silently and think it is if every time is the first. You may receive the blazing inner light initiation.

Similarly pranayama may lead to the inner blazing light initiation. First note you are extroverted, then become introverted, then control the mind a little and do your pranayama. Gently breathe in at the count of three or four. Then hold your breath for the same period. Then gently breathe out for the same period. This is one round. Do as many rounds as you wish. When breathing in imagine Shakti flowing up the spine and into the brain. When you hold your breath and when you breathe out, imaging Shakti radiating from the brain in all directions. May this simple pranayama quickly awaken your kundalini and fill you with bliss.

Practice should always be simple. Complicated practices will involve the mind too much for the mind to be easily transcended.

Pure being, or Shiva, is absolute awareness without any content, and thus formless. Shakti is one with pure being, but Shakti is the witness. Shakti may take any form but will never lose its status of pure being. The union of Shiva and Shakti is perfection. In the beginning it may seem that Shakti is the means and Shiva is the goal, but in truth, Shakti is itself the goal, only one has to realize the Shiva-ness of Shakti. Merging Shakti into Shiva, or realizing the Shiva-ness of Shakti develops into the same state of enlightenment, for ultimately, it is the same state of Oneness of Shiva-Shakti-Self.

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