Question: What do you mean, the small self is a fiction?
Jan: It is not an illusion, but on the other hand it does not have any ontological reality to it; it is a selfperpetuating construct, a machine building itself and claiming autonomy. So it is rather a fiction.
Q: But are you not Jan? The person sitting in front of me talking?
J: Of course not. Neither are you whoever your name refers to. The small self is just another body you incarnate in, just like the flesh. It is real enough, but it is not you. Traditionally it has been called an illusion, but that is a misunderstanding because you can't say a fiction is unreal since it exists in space and time. The illusion is really only the notion, that you are your small self, -
Q: How does that fiction come about? I mean, it sound like a trap, but what's the point in that?
J: There is no point in it at all. And yes, it is a trap. Or rater it has become a trap in our time and age where the psyche is worshipped as God or at least as the more or less conscious truth of who you are -
Q: Don't you believe in the spiritual value of psychotherapy with respect to getting Selfrealized.
J: No, not at all. It is totally useless in that respect.
Q: Do you mean that feeling good about oneself is a major problem?
J: No, that is not what I meant at all. Feeling bad about yourself is just as much a trap as feeling good. In fact you should rather not feel anything about yourself at all, but you can't do that until you get the first stage of Self-
Q: So what's the use of psycotherapy or workshops?
J: If you feel bad about yourself, then by all means do therapy and workshops, but only so far as to stop being occupied with yourself. Don't fall into the trap that working on or with the self is a means to grow towards a state of enlightenment. Enlightenment is not something that grows and suddenly flowers into maturity. There is nothing to develop. It is there already and it is already perfect and it can not be worked on.
Q: I don't feel perfect, and I certainly feel, I grow out of imperfection to a more integrated state thanks to workshops and therapy.
J: Oh yes! Surely! But don't fool yourself and think you are becomming more enlightened because of it. You are not! Integration of the small self stays within the small self, and to this I count also Jung's idea of the self-
Q: How do you get enlightened, then? You seem to imply you can't do anything about it yourself, since that will only be the small self exercising its illusion and getting more entangled in the trap of selfreflexivity.
J: Yes, now we are getting somewhere. As long as you think of yourself as the small self, you can do nothing. That's why the only way to get there by your own initiative is through samadhi. Samadhi in essence means to step out of identification with the small self and into identification with pure being. Alternatively you can have someone give it to you. I did both.
Q: So the next question is, how do you get into samadhi?
J: Awakening kundalini is the direct means, but you also have to practice meditation. Meditation plus an awakened and rising kundalini will take you there for sure. Your meditation should be to help kundalini reach the brain, then kundalini will give you samadhi. As I said you need somebody to give it to you, kundalini will give it to you. In fact, once kundalini is awakened and rising, that is all she wants. You can awaken kundalini through meditation, or you can get it awakened with shaktipat by a guru like Anandi Ma. In any case the described meditation is in my experience worth doing since it will speed up kundalinis journey and make it easier.
Q: Does the small self wander from life to life? I mean, we reincarnate, don't we?
J: The tendencies of the small self perpetuate themselves from life to life and they generate a new small self from life to life. The energy in the small self keeps on going, but the spcific ego is generated in each life around a basic core, that reincarnates. This means, that the less you identify with the small self, the more you will have continuity between lives and eventually you will be able to remember past lives. The more you are identified with the small self, the more you will actually lose. I told you, the small self is a fiction. Believing it to be you is a trap.
Q: Does the Self not reincarnate?
J: The Self can not be said to be incarnated or disincarnated. Remember it simply is and does not depend on anything, nor is it qualified by anything. It is the pure being, that permeates all your lives and it is your prescence here and now. It has no history, since it does not grow or age, therefore it can not be said to reincarnate. But do remember, it is YOU. The Self is the detached witness of all your lives; it is the deepest continuity throughout the changing existences.
Q: So what actually reincarnates if not the Self?
J: First and foremost the identity structure built up around the identification mechanism reincarnates. In other words, everything you believe you are will wander from life to life. The dynamics of the identification mechanism is anything that is self-
Q: What happens to all this after Self-
J: Its days are numbered. After Self-
Q: Is all this you call unfolding energies, the same as karma?
J: Yes, exactly the same. Remember that with Self-