Selfrealization and enlightenment is love-bliss

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Self-realization and the I - cont.

Satsangs

(2007)

Question: What do you mean, the small self is a fiction?

Jan: It is not an illusion, but on the other hand it does not have any ontological reality to it; it is a selfperpetuating construct, a machine building itself and claiming autonomy. So it is rather a fiction.

Q: But are you not Jan? The person sitting in front of me talking?

J: Of course not. Neither are you whoever your name refers to. The small self is just another body you incarnate in, just like the flesh. It is real enough, but it is not you. Traditionally it has been called an illusion, but that is a misunderstanding because you can't say a fiction is unreal since it exists in space and time. The illusion is really only the notion, that you are your small self, - or your body for that matter. In truth you are just pure being. And this being is in its nature lovebliss.

Q: How does that fiction come about? I mean, it sound like a trap, but what's the point in that?

J: There is no point in it at all. And yes, it is a trap. Or rater it has become a trap in our time and age where the psyche is worshipped as God or at least as the more or less conscious truth of who you are -- making psychoanalysists and psychotherapists our modern gurus. Believing you are your small self is like being a beggar who all his life has been told he is a king and who believes that to be true. It is a fiction about himself -- the fiction is real enough, but believing it to be true is an illusion. Fortunately all you have to get rid of is the illusion. People think they have to get rid of the small self in order to become Self-realized, but that is not so. Since they identify with the small self, they are beggars living their lives solely to get one acknowledgement of their egos after the other -- beggars for selfgratification. But the sad trap is, that the more they get, the higher they think of themselves and the more they identify with the small self. So they live in the illusion thay are kings.

Q: Don't you believe in the spiritual value of psychotherapy with respect to getting Selfrealized.

J: No, not at all. It is totally useless in that respect.

Q: Do you mean that feeling good about oneself is a major problem?

J: No, that is not what I meant at all. Feeling bad about yourself is just as much a trap as feeling good. In fact you should rather not feel anything about yourself at all, but you can't do that until you get the first stage of Self-realization. When you reach that, you will observe how the small self continues to feel something about itself all the time and you will see, that this is a trap. The small self is in its very essense selfreflexive. Remember the first stage is freedom from identification with the small self and realization of your nature as nothingness-being. So the best strategy on the way is to avoid any occupation with the self and also to avoid the extremes of feeling too good or bad about your self. You see, psychotherapy or psychoanalysis as a spiritual discipline for so called "growth" is in fact a major stumbling block on the way to freedom from the small self. It makes you more and more occupied with the illusion and thus more and more caught in the trap. New Age spirituality will not get you enlightened.

Q: So what's the use of psycotherapy or workshops?

J: If you feel bad about yourself, then by all means do therapy and workshops, but only so far as to stop being occupied with yourself. Don't fall into the trap that working on or with the self is a means to grow towards a state of enlightenment. Enlightenment is not something that grows and suddenly flowers into maturity. There is nothing to develop. It is there already and it is already perfect and it can not be worked on.

Q: I don't feel perfect, and I certainly feel, I grow out of imperfection to a more integrated state thanks to workshops and therapy.

J: Oh yes! Surely! But don't fool yourself and think you are becomming more enlightened because of it. You are not! Integration of the small self stays within the small self, and to this I count also Jung's idea of the self-archetype. It is a widespread fallacy that Jungs notion of the self is the same as the Self realized in enlightenment; it is not since the Jungian self is an archetype and has qualities. The real Self has no qualities at all exept lovebliss and consciousness.

Q: How do you get enlightened, then? You seem to imply you can't do anything about it yourself, since that will only be the small self exercising its illusion and getting more entangled in the trap of selfreflexivity.

J: Yes, now we are getting somewhere. As long as you think of yourself as the small self, you can do nothing. That's why the only way to get there by your own initiative is through samadhi. Samadhi in essence means to step out of identification with the small self and into identification with pure being. Alternatively you can have someone give it to you. I did both.

Q: So the next question is, how do you get into samadhi?

J: Awakening kundalini is the direct means, but you also have to practice meditation. Meditation plus an awakened and rising kundalini will take you there for sure. Your meditation should be to help kundalini reach the brain, then kundalini will give you samadhi. As I said you need somebody to give it to you, kundalini will give it to you. In fact, once kundalini is awakened and rising, that is all she wants. You can awaken kundalini through meditation, or you can get it awakened with shaktipat by a guru like Anandi Ma. In any case the described meditation is in my experience worth doing since it will speed up kundalinis journey and make it easier.

Q: Does the small self wander from life to life? I mean, we reincarnate, don't we?

J: The tendencies of the small self perpetuate themselves from life to life and they generate a new small self from life to life. The energy in the small self keeps on going, but the spcific ego is generated in each life around a basic core, that reincarnates. This means, that the less you identify with the small self, the more you will have continuity between lives and eventually you will be able to remember past lives. The more you are identified with the small self, the more you will actually lose. I told you, the small self is a fiction. Believing it to be you is a trap.

Q: Does the Self not reincarnate?

J: The Self can not be said to be incarnated or disincarnated. Remember it simply is and does not depend on anything, nor is it qualified by anything. It is the pure being, that permeates all your lives and it is your prescence here and now. It has no history, since it does not grow or age, therefore it can not be said to reincarnate. But do remember, it is YOU. The Self is the detached witness of all your lives; it is the deepest continuity throughout the changing existences.

Q: So what actually reincarnates if not the Self?

J: First and foremost the identity structure built up around the identification mechanism reincarnates. In other words, everything you believe you are will wander from life to life. The dynamics of the identification mechanism is anything that is self-referential and which generates identity structures in the psyche. These dynamics are any psychological workings that can be put on the formula "I ... this/that/him". Like: "I hate this", "I desire that", "I cheated him". So all the basic psychodynamics are the culprits: hate, desire, greed, lust, but also selfreferential activities like cheating, hurting, decieving, etc. that define yourself through a negative space. The negative space is either within you, like "I need this", or projected on to an other, like: "She is wrong", etc. Banal love is also a culprit since it is defined by a lack and a want which is selfreferential. True love, however, is not selfreferential and based on lack, but is based on abundance and is other-centered. So is true kindness, true compassion and true devotion, and so forth. But today most kindness, compassion and devotion is selfreferential and springs from more or less unconscious calculations like: "If I am kind to him, he will help me". Such hypocrisy greatly enhances the identity structure.

Q: What happens to all this after Self-realization?

J: Its days are numbered. After Self-realization all this may still have energy in it and will go on for a while. If it has enough energy after death, it will generate another incarnation. But once you get Self-realized you feel it falling away at an incredible rate. So your sadhana after Self-ralization becomes twofold: first and foremost to merge in lovebliss, secondly to be aware of the energy in the identity structures still hanging around when ever they become active. And when they becomne active, you simply observe them from the Self and with love-bliss and they will crush. Some energies have to manifest and so be it; you simply observe that also and remember it is just karma unfolding.

Q: Is all this you call unfolding energies, the same as karma?

J: Yes, exactly the same. Remember that with Self-realization you step out of these energies and this is the same as saying you step out of karma. In the Bhagavad Gita it is called stepping out of the gunas; it is the same thing. Self-realization is freedom, it is liberation.

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